I read: Confessions of a Part-Time Sorceress

Published by Wizards of the Coast as part of their 3.5 Edition Dungeons & Dragons (“3.5E“) promotion materials, Confessions of a Part-Time Sorceress (2007)¹ Shelly Mazzanoble Confessions of Part-Time Sorceress: A Girl’s Guide to the Dungeons & Dragons Game (September 2007, Wizards of the Coast, Seattle WA) (“Confessions“) by Shelly Mazzanoble is a modestly sized book which enjoyed limited success following a very odd release by Wizards of the Coast. It hasn’t generated enough nerd buzz to get it’s own Wikipedia page, and my “new” copy has stickers indicating it has been sold and resold among distributors at least three times.

I vividly remember being on the official Dungeons & Dragons (“D&D“) forums at the time and a thread being created in this book’s honour, with the bold declaration “This thread is a safe space for women.”

Naturally the thread was immediately hijacked by weird Mens Rights Activists (“MRAs”) types who wanted to fight over the whether women were allowed to have a safe space, spewing the theorized projections from The Myth of Male Power (1993)² Warren Farrell The Myth of Male Power: Why Men are the Disposable Sex (1993, Simon and Schuster, USA) as though they were long established facts. Moderators dealt with this by periodically reposting “This thread is a safe space for women.”

Largely though, the release was overshadowed by other issues relating to the changes to the Forgotten Realms, such as the thread on The Orc King (2007)³ R. A. Salvatore The Orc King (25 September 2007, Wizards of the Coast, Seattle WA) which was released at roughly the same time and raised the issue of impact of both the Spellplague, and how would kill off the protagonist Drizzt Do’Urden’s woman-as-rewardwife Catti-brie (until she comes back). Oh and it seemed to reinvent orcs as Emancipation Era African Americans right down to marrying above their race and having their own version of the Ku Klux Klan, the “Casin Cu Calas“.

It’s different because it’s in elven so let’s not think too hard about the implications.

2007 was a wild time for people who played D&D and had any sense of social sensitivity or awareness at all. Weird none of the nerds writing the Wikipedia articles want to talk about that. What’s up with that? Anyway.

So, I never read it during that time but recently decided I should do so to see if it could purge those memories from my memory and my conclusion is – I understand the reason for it less than I did when my only knowledge of it was a bad thread. Only time will tell if scrutinizing and externalizing my observations changes that.

Table of Contents

I. Shelly Mazzanoble
| A. Heartfelt and entertaining
| B. Role model for newbie nerds
II. Wizards of the Coast
| C. Dungeons & Feelings
| D. Casting Identify
| E. Casting Detect Feminism
III. So Extra
IV. Conclusion

Content warning: There is some sexualized horror imagery in the Conclusion

I. Shelly Mazzanoble

I am not the intended target-market for Shelly’s writing, as a manly cishet man, who writing is intended specifically to appeal to all the things that are supposed to repel me – especially the colour pink. I am at peace with this. I understand and appreciate that Shelly and I have very different cultural touchstones.

The plethora of five star reviews on Amazon and Goodreads suggests that it certainly did strike a cord with an audience, and why shouldn’t it? Part Sex and the City (1998 – 2004),⁴ Darren Star Sex and the City (1998 – 2004, HBO, USA) part dramatic storytelling on multiple levels and part sharing information about a hobby she has become passionate about.

Passionate enough that she continued to do a podcast, Dragon Talk, with Greg Tito.

A. Heartfelt and entertaining

There is sincere affection for her character Astrid, the process she went through making it and the friendly banter with her follow players such as when one announced the character looks like a stripper, and it was raised that maybe the guy playing the cleric should be too priestly to notice that.⁵ Confessions, above n 1, at 26

I have no doubts reading it that Shelly does play with this group, or that many of the jokes that fall flat with me are hilarious to people who enjoyed the same media that Shelly did at the time. The opening of a summary with the phrase “Elves are hot.” ⁶Confessions, above n 1, at 40 is something I feel speaks to a lot of women who play D&D.⁷ Yes Shardae of the Slovenly Trulls this is a call-out to you in particular. You are being attacked, deal with it.

Throughout the book there are diary entries from her character Astrid, and examples of play which are lovingly crafted to have entertainment value, escalating stakes and genuinely touching character arcs, twists and reveals. Even old guard players who avoid malls, like me, will find the stories touching and memorable.

It is objectively better written, more emotionally engaging and entertaining than not just many of the modules of the era, but in my opinion many of the novels and short stories used to promote and set in the worlds of D&D.

B. Role model for newbie nerds

Additionally, there is charm and craft in the ways she conveys that the joy of D&D is having fun with your friends – encouraging players not to just say “I cast Magic Missile.” but rather to have fun describing the casting or, in her case making the gesture and the magic noise.⁸ Confessions, above n 1, at 80

And even though Shelly both admits doesn’t think of herself as a Dungeon Master, and that when here own Forever DM went on holidays they couldn’t find a temporary DM – this book contains some of the best general advice to beginner DMs I’ve seen.⁹ Confessions, above n 1, at 124 She does this through empathy and willingness to examine what the real goal of playing is.

The section where she documents a game that she DMs for first-timers who come in completely cold is beautiful in its light-heartedness and the sheer chaos that comes as a DM tries to feel out what is going to appeal to the players in live time, while all parties are somewhat under the influence of alcohol. It’s magnificent and one of the most authentic summaries of an introduction to role-playing games I’ve ever read.

She seems very genuine and willing to be vulnerable, she comes across as a fun person to hang out with and chat with (hence the podcast), and continues to write (though mostly about the parenting experience). The issue for me is not the writing of Shelly Mazzanoble… rather it is the presentation of it. So for that, we need to point the finger at the usual suspect.

II. Wizards of the Coast

Shelly’s writing aside, I don’t understand what this book was supposed to be.

C. Dungeons & Feelings

The book oozes vulnerability and the sincere attempt to connect with the reader via sharing personal stories, and yet it is also loaded with attempts to undermine that.

In her iconic video essay, The Spectacular Failure of the Star Wars Hotel (2024),¹⁰ Jenny Nicholson The Spectacular Failure of the Star Wars Hotel (19 May 2024, Youtube) <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0CpOYZZZW4> Star Wars and Theme Parks scholar Jenny Nicholson noted that insistence on accurate branding often undermines influencer marketing through making it painfully obvious to the audience that it is a paid bit and undermining the feeling of an authentic statement. A former employee on the project demonstrated this to the maximum degree possibly posting a rebuttal where they used the full, correct name: Star Wars: Galactic Cruiser.¹¹ Molly Brizzell I Worked At the Galactic Starcruiser, & I Can Tell You What Everyone’s Getting Wrong About The “Star Wars Hole” (22 May 2024, Screen Rant) <https://screenrant.com/star-wars-galactic-starcruiser-hotel-what-everyone-gets-wrong/>

Todd pretty much sets the tone for the response, though of course a lot of people got a lot more creative with memes etc.

So, you can imagine my ongoing confusion reading through the book full of personal stories and Shelly expressing her own voice are peppered with calls to action with the same list of products over and over, and most jarringly, every time the term “Dungeons & Dragons” appears it appears in all caps, with it’s own special font.

The editorial interference makes it a jarring experience to read through if you are the kind of person who is always aware of these things. Even if you’re not, its just unnecessarily distracting and I can’t imagine how anyone could think that it someone results in a better experience for the reader or better image for the brand.

D. Casting Identify

I don’t know what this book is for, and I don’t think Wizards of the Coast did either. It is subtitled “A Girl’s Guide to the Dungeons & Dragons Game” but… is it?

The narrative of the book is that it is Shelly’s personal journey as someone who was very far removed from the stereotype of a D&D gamer, and her inviting you to understand it and be persuaded to try yourself. But it’s also written, from the start, with the assumption that you are already intended to play Dungeons & Dragons.

Part of it includes attempts to explain how D&D works, how is is played and what are your options. I get the feeling that these are the summaries that Shelly made herself, since as part of her journey she admits she wasn’t every confident filling out the character sheet and had her DM help her out (which is honestly extremely normal, 3.5E barraged players with a lot) but in doing so – she omits a lot and the editorial intervention makes it really confusing.¹² Confessions, above n 1, at 26 & 32

The book routinely recommends that you purchase Dungeons & Dragons for Dummies (2005)¹³ Bill Slavicsek & Richard Baker Dungeons & Dragons for Dummies (20 May 2005, John Wiley & Sons, USA) but is, itself laced with various little tips, primers, etc in the style of the “For Dummies” books – making it unclear what this book’s role is and if should trust the information in the book or not.

Can you learn about D&D from Shelly or do you need a man to explain it to you?

Shelly talks about the various races and gives her estimation of them, and then there’s a little information window added with the lifespans of elves, dwarfs, gnomes, halflings and humans. Half-elves are mentioned but their life-span omitted and half-orcs (a standard race in 3.5E, the edition of the day) excluded entirely.¹⁴ Confessions, above n 1, at 40 – 41, 38

This is, to me, particularly bizarre since an ongoing topic is one of her party members who plays essentially the opposite of herself – a dwarf fighter who solves problems with a greatsword. Surely, the potential appeal of the half-orc is obvious. ¹⁵Confessions, above n 1, at 47

Oh and two of the players in her groups are playing non-standard races, Shifter and Changeling,¹⁶ Confessions, above n 1, at 24 that get no mention in the section races, though shifter gets mentioned later. This is fine in a personal writing, but bizarre in a corporate product where the core product name gets special formatting and calls to action.

Classes similarly get a strange summary which at least comes with a disclaimer that these are the classes that Shelly knows best, but how or why this is the case is very confusing since she only cites a single character with a single class, Astrid the Sorceress. Her party has these classes in it, but also has a Monk who later becomes an emotional anchor, but the monk class is omitted.¹⁷ Confessions, above n 1, at 41

There is also a two page test for these particular classes, giving the impression that these are only the ones you’re going to consider – which to me doesn’t even square with the depictions there. If nothing else, surely the appeal of the Bard and the Barbarian would have fitted… but they are omitted entirely… even though her write up of Sorceress literally cites a page in the Player’s Handbook (2003)¹⁸ Monte Cook, Jonathan Tweet & Skip Williams Player’s Handbook: Core Rulebook I v 3.5 (July 2003, Wizards of the Coast, Seattle WA)

And this is all in the first third of the book, so lays the foundation for all the later chapters about gameplay, magic items, spellcasting, etc. But the books later starts dropping information about classes that aren’t explained. It talks about monk starting money, druids and barbarians in the magic section, etc.¹⁹ Confessions, above n 1, at 72 – 73

All of these are minor issues that I would have expected an editor to push for simple solutions – full write ups for Shelly’s favourites, single line summaries for others, etc. Feats are obviously too complicated to list all of, but the total exclusion of them from the book including on Astrid’s character sheet is bizarre.

So did Wizards of the Coast want this to prime readers to be completely confused on how to play the game by the time they bought a book? Was it supposed to be a sales funnel for Dungeons & Dragons for Dummies? Or are they assuming the reader will just take it for granted that the reader will find a DM who will work with them to fix all the misunderstandings? Did they assume that every reader, upon completing reading it would look at the appendix where all the full information is provided (in quite entertaining terms) to understand the book? Was the lexicon originally going to be in the front and got moved to the back?

Despite having no direct impact on me, and not even being marketed towards me, this book, which had 2 editors, has somehow ruined my life through the mystic power of corporate manipulation and pseudo-oversight.

E. Casting Detect Feminism

As mentioned, the book was introduced to Wizard of the Coast’s forums with the indicator that it was some sort of seminal text that would, finally, bring women into D&D and thus the thread discussing it would be a safe space for women (you know, the ones already into D&D). Clearly, at least some people in Wizards of the Coast assumed that this was feminism.

As all conversations on the Internet that touch on the topic of safety for women do, it degenerated into heated debate over whether feminism was needed, whether it should be allowed, whether this was even feminism or if the girly-girl approach of the book made it anti-feminism (but in a bad way that MRAs still hated somehow).

Reading it now 16 years later in the post-GamerGate world, I feel very confident in saying that this book – despite the weird pitching on the Wizards of the Coast forum – has very little to do with feminism and is less about making D&D accessible to women, and more about trying to court the Sex & The City and Cosmopolitan market shares. To get a new demographic to give them money.

The book does talk about issues relevant to feminism, such as the claim there are no gender biases in D&D (for more information on how this claim holds up under scrutiny, I highly recommend the Slovenly Trulls podcast – tell ’em I sent you). It includes little sections about “real life monsters” such as killjoys, people with explosive tempers etc.²⁰ Confessions, above n 1, at 146 – 147 It also talks about the importance of curating your group.

But none of this is intended as any sort of serious political discourse, none of it is stated with the stridency of academic statements or to be yelled through a loudspeaker – this is just Shelly giving her opinions on the game and people just as she gives her opinions on what magic spells & magic items she likes best, or what kind of snacks and terminology work best at the D&D table.

The corporate interference and the heavy push on selling Wizards of the Coast and related products doesn’t even make it feel like like its feminism via giving a woman a platform – it’s a product that happens to be written by a woman, for some women.

And that’s fine. Not everything a woman does has to be feminist, particularly when it’s a confused product for a mega-corporation. It’s certainly not the worst thing that has come out under the D&D label in terms of feminism, or even a bad thing per se.

III. So extra

Because of the issues with the calls to action combined with the incomplete information presented and full and correct. Because of the inconsistencies in that information and book’s strange shifting discussing ways to understand rules or give yourself easy reminders – to recipes for meatballs that you can eat while playing… I have to stress: A lot of work went into the presentation of this book.

It is not impressive by the standards of core publications like the Player’s Handbook. Wizards of the Coast had gone all out on those and spared no expense on layouts, artwork and designs.

Rather it uses a really cute and well executed two-tone style with varying shades of pink being the sole colour in all the graphics and there is a lot of charming artwork and graphic design decisions in here. Craig Phillips provides beautiful illustrations that are clever, quirky, and charming – making fantastic use of the limitations.

The diaries of Astrid, Shelly’s character, are presented in their own format on pink background with flower decorations on the side, evocative the iconic teen girl diary. It adds a delightful whimsy as well as characterization.

Which… just makes it so painful when there are random information boxes that supply information which won’t be raised in the next 20 pages. When it provides incomplete lists.

Real effort and talent went into finding ways to make this book unique, but that it would also pay homage to D&D and the classic image of women’s magazines of old. They adapted so that it was a look at would work with the type of paper, and planned for multi-page features but they didn’t make sure that it’s a clear depiction of D&D and loaded it up with features that undermine it as a personal work.

IV. Conclusion

Shelly Mazzanoble is a talented writer and an asset to the D&D community, and Confessions would have worked great as fun promotional material or an independent product that was simply her story about her D&D journey, the social adventures she has enjoyed and how the game commonly thought of as for STEM nerds could appeal to people who enjoyed other pop culture.

While I wasn’t at the meetings, it seems obvious to me that the genesis of this product was someone at Wizards of the Coast saw the ongoing success of Sex and the City, Cosmopolitan magazine and all the culture around and concluded that if they could tap into that market it could boost revenue. But they couldn’t agree on the best way to do that.

The book is at its best when Shelly is explaining her approach to gaming, then following with examples of play that make it clear that the game is, above all, supposed to be fun. It’s okay if your party can’t take some things seriously, its okay if you don’t have the history nerd itch to know the difference between a bazaar and a mall, the idea is to have fun with your friends.

Honestly I feel the best angle for it would have been less copying “for Dummies” and more encouraging it to be a combination entertainment piece and official expansion that introduced new magic items, price lists for designer items, etc. It could have been a fun counter-balance to the very heavy power gaming focus that most of the official materials had at the time.

For comparison I looked up the Dragon magazine that was released in the same month, #359.²¹ Ed: Erik Mona Dragon: Issue 359 (September 2007, Paizo Publishing, Seattle WA) With it’s standard issue sexy lady a dragon cover by Larry Elmore, and it’s only “girl power” being Demonomicon of Iggwilv: Aprocrypha²² James Jocobs Demonomicon of Iggwilv: Aprocrypha in Dragon: Issue 359, above n 21 which is somewhat undermined in that respect by the choice of artwork. Nothing against Andrew Hou, but this um… isn’t how you sell D&D to most women, or other genders, I know.²³ Demonomicon, above n 22, at 43

If you’re curious who Iggwilv is – I highly recommend the Slovenly Trulls #24 Which Witch is Which,²⁴ Shardae & Lyssa Slovenly Trulls #24: Which Witch is Which (1 February 2023) <slovenlytrulls.com> but suffice to say she shows up later in the book under top villains – along with a kobold with a shotgun, and the actual biggest baddies of D&D.²⁵ Todd Stewart & Paizo Staff 1d20 Villians in Dragon: Issue 359, above n 21

There are multiple ads that have excessive cleavage in them for no reason, there is a whole section on the ecology of the Tarrasque,²⁶ Ed Greenwood and Johnathan M. Richards The Ecology of the Tarrasque in Dragon: Issue 359, above n 21 and there is a weird “Who would win in a fight? Elminster or Raistlin” feature.²⁷ Cam Banks Elminster Versus Raistlin in Dragon: Issue 359 There are spells, and such, but there is no whimsy, no silly joy, nothing that you can just get for the fun of it without boosting your stats. Nothing that would hook the attention of someone who bought this along with a copy of Confessions.

And this keeps bringing me back to the forewords and the promotions. As a unique gimmick, the book has two forewords, one by celebrated D&D novel author R. A. Salvatore and one by his wife, Diane Salvatore. In her foreword, Diane talks about how she really wants to play D&D like how her husband and all the boys in her family do, and how Shelly’s breakdown and stories have tempted her to try again.

Her husband’s foreword follows, and it is basically a weird praise to Shelly for recognizing a conversational approach suits a conversational game… and then he laments how the book wasn’t around in the 1980s so there weren’t any hot gamer girls in the D&D scene for him to date.

I don’t know the Salvatores. I don’t know if this was a bit or just his sense of humour. I don’t know if Diane, who kept and continues to keep a low profile, did get into D&D after this or not, if she plays with her family or has her own group, etc. But I feel that those two forewords speak to the perceived need for products like this to try to get women interested in D&D, even women who were married to big voices in D&D.

And there is nothing cements that feeling more than the fact that while looking for info on this book, and listings, I kept seeing endorsements from R. A. Salvatore and Ed Greenwood in the promotions – but nothing from any actual women, including Diane herself. Not even:

“…I am tempted to play D&D once again. Shelly’s style is so entertaining and easy to read that she has inspired me to try again. She breaks it down in such a way that I actually understand the lingo, an amazing feat when you consider how little I actually understood after all these years of listening to “the Guys” crazy adventures.”

Diane Salvatore in Confessions of Part-Time Sorceress: A Girl’s Guide to the Dungeons & Dragons Game, foreword.

Because that would kind of be telling on how the industry and the biggest voices in it had been and continued to be genuinely uninterested in reaching out to anyone who wasn’t already like them. Anyone who wasn’t the right kind of nerd and wouldn’t perhaps point out to them that something they said or did, just didn’t play well with everyone.

Overall the book is good, it could have been better, but it was primarily sabotaged by the the voices in the industry being unwilling to engage in the same self-reflection and vulnerability that Shelly did. That’s a shame.

• 1
  Shelly Mazzanoble Confessions of Part-Time Sorceress: A Girl’s Guide to the Dungeons & Dragons Game (September 2007, Wizards of the Coast, Seattle WA)
• 2
  Warren Farrell The Myth of Male Power: Why Men are the Disposable Sex (1993, Simon and Schuster, USA)
• 3
  R. A. Salvatore The Orc King (25 September 2007, Wizards of the Coast, Seattle WA)
• 4
  Darren Star Sex and the City (1998 – 2004, HBO, USA)
• 5
  Confessions, above n 1, at 26
• 6
  Confessions, above n 1, at 40
• 7
  Yes Shardae of the Slovenly Trulls this is a call-out to you in particular. You are being attacked, deal with it.
• 8
  Confessions, above n 1, at 80
• 9
  Confessions, above n 1, at 124
• 10
  Jenny Nicholson The Spectacular Failure of the Star Wars Hotel (19 May 2024, Youtube) <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0CpOYZZZW4>
• 11
  Molly Brizzell I Worked At the Galactic Starcruiser, & I Can Tell You What Everyone’s Getting Wrong About The “Star Wars Hole” (22 May 2024, Screen Rant) <https://screenrant.com/star-wars-galactic-starcruiser-hotel-what-everyone-gets-wrong/>
• 12
  Confessions, above n 1, at 26 & 32
• 13
  Bill Slavicsek & Richard Baker Dungeons & Dragons for Dummies (20 May 2005, John Wiley & Sons, USA)
• 14
  Confessions, above n 1, at 40 – 41, 38
• 15
  Confessions, above n 1, at 47
• 16
  Confessions, above n 1, at 24
• 17
  Confessions, above n 1, at 41
• 18
  Monte Cook, Jonathan Tweet & Skip Williams Player’s Handbook: Core Rulebook I v 3.5 (July 2003, Wizards of the Coast, Seattle WA)
• 19
  Confessions, above n 1, at 72 – 73
• 20
  Confessions, above n 1, at 146 – 147
• 21
  Ed: Erik Mona Dragon: Issue 359 (September 2007, Paizo Publishing, Seattle WA)
• 22
  James Jocobs Demonomicon of Iggwilv: Aprocrypha in Dragon: Issue 359, above n 21
• 23
  Demonomicon, above n 22, at 43
• 24
  Shardae & Lyssa Slovenly Trulls #24: Which Witch is Which (1 February 2023) <slovenlytrulls.com>
• 25
  Todd Stewart & Paizo Staff 1d20 Villians in Dragon: Issue 359, above n 21
• 26
  Ed Greenwood and Johnathan M. Richards The Ecology of the Tarrasque in Dragon: Issue 359, above n 21
• 27
  Cam Banks Elminster Versus Raistlin in Dragon: Issue 359